There were both volcanic eruptions and a solar eclipse on December 4th, 1983. Fact. Also, David Moscati was born in the capital of the United States of America, his birth inspiring the development of Neue Helvetica. Fact. In his early years young David was what some called a child prodigy, he spoke Latin and wrote backwards – as others around him used crayons and drew stick figures, young Moscati recreated Baroque masterpieces and Biblical scenes using handmade oil paint made from the stomach acids found only in rare vultures of Wyoming. Fact. He drank coffee by the pot and while playing with rocks he discovered hidden Native American Ruins in his backyard, which were later discovered to be the burial ground of Wolf Who Eat Birds. Before his death, Gene Roddenberry was in development of a TV series about David. In adolescence, David traveled most of North America and grew a very large beard, which many envied and once drank 60 beers at once and then climbed a mountain, the alcohol thinning his blood long enough for him to reach 8,000 meters without oxygen. David Moscati invented the Internet. Fact. Many beautiful and famous women confessed their love for him, so much so he had to spend a year in isolation, living in the arctic among polar bears. For some reason the bears did not eat him but rather accepted him and let him sleep next to them in their dens for warmth. In his travels south he wrestled a vicious wolf to the ground with his bare hands and raised it’s cub as his own, now fully grown, the wolf lives with him to this day. While rock climbing he came upon a UFO landing, waiting, he later abducted the aliens and they went home, after that he worked at NASA, nobody knows what he did for them. For exercise he swam the Great Lakes and for fun earned several PhD’s, one in Dinosaurs, one in European Politics from 1900 to 1980, and another in Time Travel. Once he met Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mike Tyson at the same time. If you look into his eyes it will have the same effect as soaking in a hot water mountain spring.
He has worked building railroads, distilling whiskey and taming horses but made most his fortune by finding pots of gold at the end of rainbows. For a small period of time he attended the Savannah College of Art and Design, after graduation, he owned it, literally. He hand fed a great white shark while trophy fishing in the Gulf of Mexico. While there he rescued several swimsuit models on a photo shoot gone wrong, each of which gave him their phone number. He knows the recipe for Coca-Cola™. Daniel Day Lewis has studied him. David Moscati is a professional designer for life. To this day he still travels, you might spot him in the wilderness, or the big city, maybe perhaps within the stars of the night sky. He is currently prepared for a zombie apocalypse, still drinks coffee, and is currently dating a famous actress who might or might not be starring in the new blockbuster The Avengers. He is everywhere. Fact.
