Crap Stink Splasher - FlunkMonkey

As a Kid, VanBeater dreamed of being a deadly ninja assassin rapper. Sadly, he discovered his shoes were too squeaky to be a ninja and he aint never going to have good enough grammar to be a bangin' lyricist (you know what i'm sayin'?). Once he came to terms with the facts, he decided to travel from the past to rock the future. Although he lacks any real ability to "quote rock unquote," He CAN travel through time. This give him hundreds of years of experience instantly. Mix that experience with a self-induced pareidolia; a childhood full of influences such as Saturday morning cartoons, NES, and all the toys he couldn't afford to blow up with M-80s but did anyways; and the general love for the never ending, out of control, run-on sentence, and you have VanBeater.